m.

Boston MA

Description

I was looking at some old notes and found one that read, “I can’t afford to look much longer because that’s what it takes to fall in love.” This was written in 2016 and I stopped dating shortly after that. I have developed a terrible habit. Whenever I’m crushing on someone, I try to stop looking at them. Whenever they pass by or talk to me, I do everything in my power to not look at them. It’s almost like they don’t even exist. I look away because I’m afraid of something I want. I’ve worked so hard to build myself up all these years, I don’t want to ruin my peace with something as sacred as love. Maybe I put love on too high of a pedestal, but there’s nothing I believe in more. I’m so in love with love that I fear I’ll never find someone to meet me at this level. So, why look? I’m yearning for someone to give me a reason to look.