FOUND!!!! One Half of My Sole Mate!!!

Houghton MI

Description

Oh beautiful purple Brooks Ghost neutral daily trainer shoe, I found you today near Festival Foods in Houghton. You were alone, near the driveway, and so sad. I could smell that you just want to run away with your better (read left) half. But alas, you are now whiff me. As you can see from the photo I am a black Newfoundland dog (mind you that every person I know is dyslexic and pronounces that D-O-G word backwards). Although my ancestors are from Canada, I am all American, and as such, I love shoes. In fact, once I get the other half of my sole mate, I will absolutely love you to pieces. Really, really tiny pieces. But my dad says that the love fest cannot begin until I am one with the other half. Remember the movie with Tom Cruise where he says “you complete me.” Well, let’s just say Tom was barking up my tree. Please, please God of sole mates, bring us together for a lovely reunion where we can just chew each other forever. You can call my dad if you are the other half; he’s cool with non-traditional consensual relationships, even though he is as straight as the Seney Stretch. Still, as he tells me everyday, “Love is Love.” He’s not afraid to tell me that about that a 20 times a day, but honestly, if I find you, dear sole mate, I will love you until the end of time or until my dad picks up the pieces and throws you in the recycle bin, which ever comes first. Sincerely, Sophia. NOTE: leather shoes and boots made of my distant kin need not reply.