Advice or support needed

New York City NY

Description

Hello, to preface this I am a 19 year old trans man from southeast asia who is currently on hrt but didn’t get surgery yet. I’m mostly looking for advice on what to do here, or by a long shot if someone is kind enough to be a host for me (I can be household help, work with pets, I’m decently good at working with technology or art if this helps) this is mostly a situation I am extremely unfamiliar with, and am a little terrified of how it’ll impact my mental state. I currently live in the UWS, and was aiming to apply for asylum soon, but there might soon be a situation where I can’t find a job to support myself or help with rent at the place I stay due to no working status. And I don’t know anyone here who would be okay with taking me in. I looked into shelters as well but it sounds like risking my future, so I’m planning to return to my country (southeast asia where the concept of hrt doesn’t exist) for a few months and save up enough to try coming here again. I don’t even have any money for college or soon enough, food or clothes here but going back to my country means at least I don’t have to be on the streets. My situation is complicated on me being trans, if it was about my education or just housing I’d have gone back weeks ago. But my diagnosed dysphoria is so bad that I’d rather consider dying than not being able to transition. But 3 months ago I started hrt and get my shots every 2 weeks, I’m looking to stockpile around a years worth and make it back to my country, living with my dysphoria there would make me nearly suicidal so I’m not sure what to do.. Thank you for reading, I just feel helpless and dependent on something I have no experience with.