Life and Times

San Francisco CA

Description

Time is fleeting and our moments though brief I truly cherish. I was a mess- shithoused, full tilt. But you still accepted me. You brought me around your friends even though they told you I wasn’t worth it but you still gave me chances. And I kept blowing them. I need so much help and need to be accountable for my actions. Alcohol is truly my destroyer. I can’t do it / handle it like some people. Sometimes I would just over do it and self sabotage the- honestly best thing that’s ever happened to me- you. I fell for you so hard. Everything about you I find so fascinating I could daydream about you forever. You’re the most beautiful thing. The way you’d hold me when we walk down the street, the way you snore so cute when you sleep or put your leg up, the sound of your voice. The way you talk. I’ve never met anyone who can cut through all the bullshit i don’t know how to put it but it’s like you’re just so unapologetically yourself I feel like anything you could ever do or say is timeless. You’re absolutely magnificent in every way. I love you. I’m a mess but I know this is what’s right. I feel like Humpty Dumpty. But you brought me to this place of realization and healing. I can’t say forsure but I am pretty sure that without you I think I would’ve forever stayed in denial about my problems. I’m sorry I didn’t show you the real me, I’m sorry I lied about dumb little things. I honestly just wanted you to like me. Love is crazy. I have never worn makeup before in my life, but I did to cover up my permanent black eye under my right eye or which of course you noticed cus I had no idea how to properly rub in foundation lmao. I starved myself profusely cus I thought I was too fat for you. Which obviously made me obliterated when I drank. I’m so sorry for not being honest and real like you were. I just wanted you to like me and in the end I found that I could’ve just been my fat drunk goofy self and you still would’ve loved me. Timing is everything and I have always felt everything happens for a reason. I’m so glad I met you. I love you. I hope you’re doing great. I’ll never ever forget you for my whole life. One day I hope to find someone 1/4 as beautiful inside and out as you. Truly.