I’m tired

Los Angeles CA

Description

I have a few friends, but I hardly see them. I’m tired. I have a decent job, but am still seen as a disappointment. I think if I left…those few friends would be sad, but move on. I’m approaching my mid 30s, got out of a 8 year relationship, and even with a decent job…can’t afford $1650 in rent. My animal keeps me alive for now, but once they go…I think I should too. Maybe I’m not built for this world. I’ve tried so hard to fit and I just keep falling apart. Every time I think I found someone or myself…. I’m let down. I don’t know what to do anymore. Feeling down. Seeing a therapist. Realizing that I don’t have hobbies. I don’t know what I like. All stemming from perfectionism, thinking that I need to achieve or perform in ordered to be loved because that’s how people assess value on an individual…social praise. Not being able to figure out who I am…I’m tired. Tired of everything. How long do others take before feeling good? Idk. The expectations placed upon me are too many, and they help me slip into this void of simply being “tired”. By:M