Fantasy Draft Auctioneer Needed Sept 2nd 9pm-2am

Austin TX

Description

Have you ever looked in the mirror and been disgusted with the person you saw? Are you tired of getting sand kicked in your face while running the rat race with no hope until your eventual death? Do you ever say to yourself “I wonder what it would be like to be a fantasy football auctioneer for a bunch of randoms during Labor Day weekend?” If you said yes to any of the first two questions, please stop reading. If you said yes to the third question; congratulations, I have a very exciting opportunity for you! Our fantasy football league has been alive and well since the year of our lord 20 aught 5 and due to some last minute shenanigans, we find ourselves without an auctioneer. You would be paid handsomely ($150 plus non guaranteed tips) to fulfill a life long dream in the process! If you are interested in this once in a generation opportunity, please email me back with a brief (or not so brief) statement on why you think you would be suitable for this gig, your qualifications or accomplishments, and just a general bit that helps us think “wow this is a cool dude, not someone who is crazy about murdering/will burn our house down.” Requirements: Cannot unionize Must be willing to submit to a drug test (just kidding) Cannot be a psychopath or associate with psychopaths for more than 50% of your waking hours Must be willing to tolerate verbal and potentially physical abuse from league members Proficiency with basic Microsoft Excel preferred but not required Available from 9pm-2am on Friday September 2nd General knowledge of the NFL is helpful but not a deal breaker Needs to have an outgoing personality and thrive in chaotic situations Graduate of McNeil High School will receive special treatment in the hiring process