Missing our connection

Minneapolis MN

Description

Do you remember our first date? After dinner you said you needed to catch a bus, and I offered to take you for a drive instead. You cracked a joke about serial killers but you agreed. While we were heading to your place, we’d been talking about our favorite 80’s bands, and I mentioned The Cars. You said you had all their records and then drive started playing on the radio. You got excited and started talking really loudly and said something like, “That’s totally synchronicity dude!” And then I cheekily said, “no, that’s the police.” You laughed and said, “good one.” Everything about that night plays like a movie in my mind. I hope your memories of me aren’t all bad: I know I pushed you way too far with my immature mind games. I developed a petty vindictiveness that I didn’t know I was capable of, all because I didn’t have the decency to tell you the truth. I knew what I was doing, but I just thought it would make you want me or something. I made you angrier than I knew what to do with and it was just easier to pretend that I didn’t care. Our last text exchange haunts me. I know all you wanted from me was an apology. I just wasn’t in a space to accept accountability for anything, and I hurt you. And I’m sorry. I hope that my darkness didn’t put out that fire in you. You do know that I loved you though, right? I might’ve cracked your heart, but you left a hole in mine. Tatiana: your name is still magical. I can’t find you online, but I’d love to drive you home again. Brandon