we both know i messed up

Minneapolis MN

Description

I hope you still lurk here on occasion. It was never my intention to cause you such anguish but I wasn’t in a good place then. I wasn’t capable of accepting accountability for anything. Do you remember our first date? You said you needed to catch a bus after we had dinner, and I offered to take you for a drive instead. You cracked a joke about serial killers but you agreed. While we were heading to your place, we’d been talking about our favorite 80’s bands, and I mentioned The Cars. You said you had all their records and then drive started playing on the radio. You got overly excited and started talking really loudly and said something like, “That’s totally synchronicity dude!” And then I cheekily said, “no, that’s the police.” You laughed and said, “good one.” Everything about that night plays like a movie in my mind. I hope your memories of me aren’t all bad: I know I pushed you way too far with my immature mind games. I developed a petty vindictiveness that I didn’t know I was capable of, all because I didn’t have the decency to tell you the truth. I made you angrier than I knew what to do with. I know all you wanted from me was an apology, and I’m sorry I hurt you. I did love you in my own way. I might’ve cracked your heart, but you left a hole in mine. Tatiana: your name is still magical. I can’t find you online, but I’d love to drive you home again. Bran