I hope you know you’re missed

Minneapolis MN

Description

It’s been a long time, but maybe you still read these. Back when they had the personals, it was a riot. I hope your memories of me aren’t all bad: When we started dating, I was not in a good place. It was easy to hide at first, because you made me feel important. You made me feel everything again. You have a real gift for making people feel good about themselves, even when people exploit it. I know that I made you feel like shit in return. I developed a petty vindictiveness that I didn’t know I was capable of. I know I pushed you way too far with my stupid mind games. In the end, it was just easier to pretend that I didn’t care. Telling you to move on, and mocking you for your vulnerability at the worst possible time are two of my biggest regrets. Our last text exchange haunts me. Do you remember our first date after Mac’s? You said you needed to catch a bus, and I offered to drive us around instead. You hesitated, but agreed. I enjoyed your company of course, but I desperately wanted to try and kiss you. As nervous as I was, I did. You warmly and enthusiastically kissed me back. You rubbed your hands on my stubble, giggled, and bit your bottom lip. The calmness and stillness of that moment is tattooed into my brain. I know it’s a bit of a cop out, but the timing was just awful. I couldn’t admit anything to myself, despite you calling me out. It only made me more defiant and petty. And I hurt you, and I’m sorry. You’re right though: You were way too good for me. Not everyone has the courage or kindness within them to be as transparent as you though. Honestly, most people just aren’t like that, but I hope that my darkness didn’t put out that light in you. I’ll always have the random and vivid memories, in spite of everything that I allowed to go wrong, and away. Tatiana: your name is still magical. I can’t find you online, but I would love to see you. Bran