I'm sorry, E

New York City NY

Description

There's nothing I can do or say to change what I said or did that night. I didn't mean most of it, and that's maybe the most tragic part. You've given me so many chances and I've squandered and wasted each one in the short time we've known each other - so I don't expect another. All I can say is I'll miss you, in the deepest reaches of my heart that haven't been touched in years. You're much older than me, so maybe that kind of time doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things. You mean more to me than you'll ever know and I wish I was getting the help I need. You've been the lifesaver that's kept me from completely drowning in misery these last few months - turbulent, as they've been. You deserved so much more respect than what I showed you. I disappoint myself often, but I didn't mean what I said that night...because the truth is that I've never known pleasure as I have with you. Everyone I've met before you just pales in comparison in every way. If we never meet again, it will always be my loss - but I promise I won't settle for someone who doesn't offer me what I saw in you. I simply couldn't. I'd rather be alone, and really it might be for the best that I am - at least for a while. It's only been a few days and I already miss you terribly. I wouldn't be upset or surprised if you've moved on by now. It might be one of those things about you that I find inspiring. I just want you to be happy because you've spent enough time on this planet being sad. We both have, really. Thank you for sharing what you could with me. I know you hate reading, so I'm also sorry for rambling here. Take care. <3