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You posted then deleted so clearly you aren’t ready to connect but in case you didn’t feel/see the reply she would give you just know your tf is always with you. I’m sure she misses you and is just working on her own issues/insecurities. We all need to remember what took me forever to learn -that we are enough as we are, flaws and all, and we don’t have to be perfect and so strong we do everything alone.
People need people. Tfs need their other half. Love needs love and we all deserve unconditional love and someone to weather the storm with us. You said you’re not ready for unconditional love but you already have it and you’re already giving it even if you’re not together. I know how much I miss my fish out of water and wish I hadn’t been so in my head I forgot my heart deserves what my mind analyzed away so I hope you reconsider reconnection. It might heal what ails you if you allow the light to clear the dark spaces. And it might heal her as well.
Anyway, I wish you peace in that clearly big heart and brain…and restful sleep. You are no doubt missed and deeply loved..and you are more than enough. Sleep well 🙏 🌊🌗
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