i still think about you

Portland OR

Description

Why do I miss you sometimes? I shouldn't. You gave me plenty of reasons to not want you in my life. But sometimes I still do...want you in my life. I think about you at least once a day. Idk why. Usually at night, when I'm in bed scrolling and everything is quiet. I still get off to you too, once in a while. A few times when we were together I caught you, while we were at a bar or getting food, looking at me with this look of adoration, the one I gave you the first night you stayed over. You told me not to look at you like that. I pretended not to know what you were talking about but I did. Are we both avoidants? I wonder if it was real, emotionally, or if it was just incredible sexual chemistry. I guess that's real too.