It isn't becoming

San Jose CA

Description

Since it is hard for you to listen to me directly, maybe you would read this and actually hear me. I say that because I have come to realize that you have been messing with me online. Just for the record, that profile and that post both came after I saw the pictures you posted of the both of you. Projecting? Not at all. I reacted. Not in the healthiest way but, it was just a reaction. After all, it was so easy for you to move on. I thought I was trying to do the same. The post where I am asking for someone to show me how to be more. I posted it right after I saw the pictures. You should look at the date because I don't know when it was. Well that post was actually about you and I. Even though you were already gone. Do you think I would want to do something I am not comfortable doing, with a stranger? I was just trying to be better because, I am still going over how I was never enough. I was told, again and again, how I was never enough. You made it very clear. I replay all the ways you said it, in my head to this day. You subtly mentioned that you had read all of the narcissist stuff. I assumed you meant in your DSM-5 or somewhere else. I didn't think that you had been reading everything I had posted on that profile for the last year. I didn't think that if you did, you would want to use that information against me. But you did. As I went through the texts I saw how you gaslit and manipulated every word. Why kick a dead horse? Do I not seem down enough for you? What are you getting from all of this? I would never do anything like that to you. You must not be getting the help you say you are, or at least aren't honest with your therapist. I wish you could. I want you to heal too. I imagine us in another life. We could find each other again. Maybe we aren't as broken as we are now. And we could truly have the love story that I saw in us. Maybe our story would have a different end. For now though I am healing and becoming whole again. I want to ask you, if you ever felt anything for me, please stop. EDIT: Are you flagging me because someone might know what you are doing to me and realize that it is wrong? This is super vague. Why would you flag? And thanks for all the hate mail. I actually don't think any of them are from who I am speaking to so... If this triggers you I apologize.