my therapist was right

San Francisco CA

Description

looks matter less to me, as i'm getting older.. but, too, are less the looks in my direction.. what hurts the most, is that i could never love you into loving me.. perhaps my therapist is right, we choose people who fit the narratives we believe about ourselves- i believe, that someone like you would never go for someone like me, i guess.. a self fulfilling prophecy.. so i long and linger from a distance, nauseated by trying to work up the nerve to approach you.. look, i've done this before and trust me, it never pans out well, you see.. when loving is made to feel like a weakness and not a mutual affection.. bordering on a masochistic tendency. in all honesty, i'm most avoidant because- knowing me, yes, i would desperately throw myself at your feet, fall helplessly in love with you, but.. what's the point in falling in love, if there's no one there to catch you?