Even The Onion Takes A Dig As Summit Resident Eli Manning Retires

Summit NJ

24 January, 2020

2:18 PM

Description

SUMMIT, NJ — As New York Giants Quarterback Eli Manning announced his retirement at age 39 on Friday, jokes were passed back and forth, including Tom Brady musing on Twitter, "Congratulations on your retirement and a great career, Eli! Not going to lie though, I wish you hadn't won any Super Bowls." But some of the barbs went a little deeper. The silly kids who write for the parody website The Onion decided published a jokey article about Manning as a father of three, using a Summit dateline (where Manning currently lives with his wife and daughters) and a headline, "Eli Manning Retires From NFL To Focus On Being Statistically Average Father." The Onion piece about the former Hoboken resident, who has won two Superbowls, strings together some football references that also refer to fatherhood. See what they did there? Since it's The Onion, Manning likely knows not to take it personally. After all, Hoboken residents know that Manning could often be seen at the waterfront playgrounds with his girls. And now he'll have more time to stroll Summit's downtown, which has a mere 1 percent vacancy rate. Nothing average about that. So next time, perhaps Tom Brady can write a few of the Onion's sports satire pieces instead. After all, isn't he good at pretty much everything?