+++++++ MAN BITES FOX - FAKE NEWZ AT 11

Penngrove CA

Description

Dateline Washington D.C...... A fox tested positive for rabies after biting a California Democrat on Capitol Hill. "It was so stupid -" growled the fox, rolling and frothing at the mouth on the capitol grounds. "I usually only take a small nip of visiting tourists. Now I feel like projectile vomiting. What a sick taste. Like rat piss, only more offensive." Later, the wounded fox crawled off into the bushes moaning "my soul is dying...." Earlier, Capitol Police had shot at the fox as it tried to climb through a broken office building window. "Kill that bitch!" screamed Officer Floyd George, "he be a white supremacist!" The fox is actually a female and has no ties to right wing extremists. Regardless, Bank of America froze the fox's assets late yesterday evening and Twitter suspended its account. The fox's offspring, known as kits, requested asylum. They were immediately sworn in as citizens by Senator Romney and given a thousand dollars a month each in food stamps. The oldest kit was heard to hiss "I can't buy fucking McDonalds with this sheet." Acting President Kamala "Thuggee" Harris issued a press statement: "No fox has the right to invade Ukraine. Ukraine is a country somewhere - maybe eastern Europe. The fox is not a country. The fox is a canine. Or perhaps a rodent." Unconvicted pedophile and fake news "president" Joe Biden mumbled something about snakes and turnips loose in D.C. Meanwhile, out west in Sebastopol, a committed communist frothed at the mouth defending the fox: "Sad. Foxy. Pathetic." The 470 pound wino expired in his computer chair.