I brought you a Tiger Lily

Anchorage AK

Description

I thought orange was your favorite color for some reason, but you weren't a fan. I did better the second time I brought you flowers, and raised the bar even higher on Christmas. I honestly believe picking out all those flowers for you brought me more joy than receiving any gift could ever. It's amazing how much better you treat yourself when you're around someone who loves you. Our time together, to this day, years later, is a rare source of light in a personal dark age. Whenever I seem to be making progress, it's made so much sweeter by those around me; slowly normalizing good news, and catching glimpses of a bright future in every text, call, and outing. I could've so easily missed the bigger picture if you hadn't made it all so obvious. There's a lot of fear and anger between myself and the people around me, but it's a lot easier to bypass those emotions when you have a deeper understanding of your environment. This chapter of my life where I have to be something other than a child seems like it could go on forever. But wherever I'm certain of anything, there's familiarity in all the constant motion. I have a long way to go, but I'm finding there's plenty to lean on along the way. I love you. I'm certain. We've been apart now longer than we ever were together. Please see what we share as the gift that it is, and our struggles as an opportunity for growth. There's no shortage of soreness for me, and I know you feel the same. But it just keeps getting smaller and smaller, and one day, I'll be able to take it out with the trash. There'll be no hard feelings. Only love. Don't you know how much sweeter that love could be with you around?