Dirty deeds done dirt cheap

Newberg OR

Description

Good day, everyone. Business is a little slow these days, so I figured I would do a bit of networking on Craigslist. My name is Snake Eyes, and I commit violent felonies for a living. From now until April 30, I am offering a tax season special. Any violent felony involving a single victim in the greater Portland area is only $50. I also accept gifts cards for Applebees or Bed Bath and Beyond. Thank you, and God bless.