It was really cool how drunk you were when you made me crash

Portland OR

Description

Hey guy. Just wanted to say how awesome it was for you to drunkenly cut me off at the last second so that I crashed my scooter into your d bag SUV. I especially love how you were too wasted to give me your name, then dropped my bike three times and then left the scene without providing your information. I love my bruised and swollen body now! Thanks to you. Also my totaled scooter that I built myself out of parts and treasured so much. Love the piles of broken stuff it is now so that you could get to the bar like 10 seconds sooner. Good stuff. Don’t rot in hell, okay? You’re not a terrible person and don’t let that non-fact ever permeate your beautiful non-idiotic brain. Maybe I’m concussed.