Was that you. Passing me by

Eugene OR

Description

Like that song by Jewel. The music video sucks...but the lyrics come to me every now and then. When another would be lover falls short. I am left wondering...were they the one? I hope not. They won't see this. Nobody we know will. So, my fellow lonesome/anxious craigslist frequenters, this is not for you or yours, don’t flag. I simply offer a common human story with you, full of cliches, poor grammar, and lazy metaphors. Some are so unlucky in love. Especially, unlucky to be in love with someone unattainable! Constantly fixating on those falling stars. They’re just passing, drifting, hitching a ride on out…while I stay fixed. Like the Sun. Keeping those around me alive. We all play our roles. I’m not ungrateful for the hand I’ve been dealt. Then… I found a shooting star! My dear shooting star: You, a shooting star is in my southeast night sky. You are a fire in the empty space. I try to avoid and dodge my feelings. I know I am not the only one who sees you. Hot and fast. But, I see the starlight sparkle in your eyes when you let your guard down. You don't think I notice, but I do. Do you notice my gasps? I do my best to conceal them, out of respect. I can't help it, forgive me. It’s just that, it’s your essence. I recognized a little more every time …Your drive, passion for helping others, your endless search for truth. It’s intoxicating me. No, actually, you fuel me to rise higher into my greatness. Isn’t that what love does? Thank you for that. It's not easy being a shooting star. Ever moving. Restless. You might question your path from time to time. Don't. You cast yourself as the punished Sisyphus. You are quite clever. Sometimes a tease, and a trickster! I’ll give you that. You have some troubles on your trail. But, you are not trouble. I am not afraid of troubles. I know you'll learn to let that boulder go soon...like a rocket, you'll breeze up that mountain and guide us all to a better place, my shooting star. I fell for you hard. But you don't know, my friend. Maybe you do and are so kind to act as if you don’t. I want to tell you. But, I fear I would never see you again. So I won’t say anything, or do anything. There are a lot of reasons that make it hard. I know. Maybe that's part of the thrill? That it would take both of us sacrificing a lot. I'm pretty sure that’s why I’m never an option. You’ve scarified enough, carrying other’s boulders. I understand. So, I dream. I dream of being worthy enough to be with you, to have the privilege witnessing gorgeous smile every day. I'd make you laugh; you know...every day. I promise you that. I know our time is limited. All things good and bad come to an end in this life. I know this much. You are one of the good things. You, are so good. You deserve good things. Don’t settle for less, my friend. Dare, and be courageous. The universe is your playground. Just remember, I am like the sun. If you ever need a stable mirror strong enough to reflect the love you emit back at you, or if you need a match to reignite your tired blaze. I’m right here. I will never hold you back, though. Because, that's what love does. So, I blow you a kiss as you pass me by.