Grumpy man

Port Townsend WA

Description

You're a regular at my job, I've tried talking to you outside of work. I missed one phone call from you in January, and since you've either disconnected your phone number or blocked mine. I've tried giving you my number again, but you haven't contacted me. I can't talk to you much at work, I get so anxious that I start shaking and I feel lightheaded. It's difficult to approach you because I can't tell when you're in a bad mood or not, and my lack of confidence might as well amputate me from the knees down. I start thinking bad things, bad things about you or bad things about me. I wanted something, but I don't know what you want, or even if you do. When you made me cry, it hurt. When you tried to console me and held me tight, it was exactly what I'd wanted for a long time. But I got scared. It's difficult to trust, and it's what I really need. I somewhat hope you see this, so you know the things I'd like to tell you. But I also dread it because you'll know how much a coward I truly am, one who hesitates at taking opportunities and instead posts it to a public forum for strangers. Fear of intimacy's a personal demon that I know all too well. I wish you the best.