To: Eve Raphael

Harrison NY

Description

Lol, I’m so ADHD right now. I can’t sit here in front of the computer and think about what I want to write. Once again, I find myself saying how I don’t have anything else to say, because I said it all before. Day after day I get caught up in the routine of getting high, and I’m loving it so much because the depression I used to suffer from doesn’t occur anymore. The Zoloft really helps with that. One day I’ll talk to my doctor about trying a stimulant for my ADHD, but the memories of my youth just won’t let me go. It’s like I’m reliving the past without being the miserable person that I was. I know I have to quit smoking weed first though, and drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. O, my pretty Eve! So many things are coming back to me, and I’m feeling trapped by my feelings again between you and Esther. Just the other week, I dressed all preppy with my blue knitted sweater that I wore the day you came for me inside the courthouse. I stood pretty close to your mom’s house, and Esther’s car was there, and……….. but I didn’t see yours there like when you guys used to be my neighbor. After a few minutes went by, I just stared at the ground thinking about my next move. I ended up turning around and went back home. I’ll take it that I still have time, that one day I can confront your mom and talk about you. The few times I saw Esther around, walking right past her, she knows the deal by now, what’s on my mind and what I am facing on a daily basis. Eve………… I look at my arm where I tattooed your name: I still love you. I think I’ll go cry now. I know what I have to do, I think. Whenever the time comes, first thing I have to do is check up on you, if things haven’t changed, it’s back to Esther. That girl really went out of her way for me. I still remember certain things about her. So the world’s on fire, and all the conflicts from WW2 are emerging. I hope I find my way back to where I was before, because I’m so lost without either of you. That’s the truth, my love.