To C

Eureka CA

Description

This is hard to write. I know there isnt a space available to discuss this. Youve made that abundantly clear. Weve been distant for so long. Weve avoided our problems. I wish i would have addressed things much sooner now that i feel damp and set underground. I feel like you are working through this much better than me. Im somewhat glad and it also makes me want to scream to an empty canyon. Sometimes my sadness turns to frustration - but not often. Ive felt alone for a long time and constantly making some steps and relapsing into something of a depression that spirals. Each time i take two steps forward im met with the same reproach and it kills me. I wish i would have vocalized this. I wish i would have said what I need. I believe that you would have made an effort. Maybe i sabotaged the relationship to try and illicit an emotion. I dont know. I tried to protect myself from the truth - and thats what shattered the ceiling. The shards are raining down on me now. Ill be slowly working through it and i wish i knew what that looked like. It hurts to know that you dont undertand all the ways i cherished you.