I hope that you are doing well.

Los Gatos CA

Description

I wanted to write you, but I don't think that is a good idea. I think it's best that I remain silent and moving in the direction I have chosen. So instead I will send this out into the either. There was so much about us that I always wanted. There was so much beauty. I have never loved so hard in my life. It seems that I was lost though, not seeing things for what they were. The lies, the comparisons, the mood swings, the control, the crying, the demands, the takeaways, the destabilization, the confusion, the manipulation, the emotional abuse... I was always willing to accept flaws, and work together toward a common goal. Us against the world, right? Except when it seemed to be you against me. I don't know how I didn't see it. I reached out to some friends of ours and they said the same thing. I didn't know this was a recurring theme of yours. That doesn't matter though. I still love you, or I suppose the thought of you. You in the best self that you showed me. Regardless, I can look back and see the good times. I am beginning to forget all the bad times, and moving toward a better place overall. I still hurt from losing you but I am doing so much better without you. I have finally been able to acknowledge for myself that there was no path for you and I to walk together. No need for apologies, or the truth anymore, I found the closure for myself and am better off having done it this way.