It’s been 15yrs

New York City NY

Description

I just want to put this out into the ether. I know the odds of you seeing this are astronomical but it’s more for myself that I do this. It was 2008, upper west side, midday. I was a mess as I was rushing to an interview. It was with an amazing woman and I was nervous. I was trying very hard not to sweat, the wind was tousling my hair and I’m certain I was disheveled. You didn’t seem to care. When you stopped me, I could see that you thought I was beautiful by the look in your kind eyes. When I looked at you, I felt a strike. Like lightning. The city around us seem to fade and I wanted so badly to forget the interview and just go be with you. Wherever that was. You had a dashing suit and briefcase. You had a kind yet dominating presence. You asked for my number and I gave it to you. Something I never do. I kept thinking that I wasn’t ready for you. And I wasn’t, I was just evicted from my apt and I was living on my friends moms floor. I was working retail. I was disheveled. My life was a mess and I was in panic mode. I thought about you the whole rest of the weekend. I had made a decision that I couldn’t let you into my mess of a life but I didn’t want you to think my rejection had anything to do with you. It WAS me. So when I got your call that Monday, my response still haunts me to this day. It was so obnoxious. I wanted you to reject me. I wanted you to think it was a mistake. It worked. I never heard from you again. I think about this often and I’ll always wonder, what if. I hope you’ve found a woman worthy of you and are extremely happy. Just wanted to put this out there.