To A

Wichita KS

Description

I am not really sure what to say. Or what point there even is in saying it. The words circle in my mind. You hurt me really bad. I have not recovered. I may never. Things between us are not good. I don’t know if they ever will be. I think of before. The lies. The neglect. Even found out recently about another lie you had told me. You wanted to keep me as another option. Probably why your letter threw me into such fear and apprehension. I knew I would never be your number 1 person. That hurt too. I thought you were coming back into the picture to resolve the past. That’s why I agreed to meet with you. My love was never a game. I wish you would have taken a different approach. Maybe you are happy now. I’m not. My life is in shambles. I’m sure you already know. I wish I could be happy for you. I’m not there yet. The police station, the nursery. Who would have thought we would have come to this? “There is one life, one gift; waste it as you wish”. I remember when you told me to try to remember the good times. That is the hardest thing to think about. Winning was so important to you. Did you win? On most days I hate you. The emotions change. But truth be told I think about you everyday. You were at a time my best friend. I realize now after all the others have gone. So many times something has happened in my life and you are the first person I think to tell. Tragic. I’m going out of state as soon as I can. This town has so many painful memories and no place for me. It’s okay for you to hate me. You will never have to see my face. You can forget my name. Btw I don’t really believe in reincarnation. But maybe in another life. Maybe in a thousand years; you will want to hold my hand. Goodbye. - B