I will always love you, SAN

San Antonio TX

Description

You won my heart without even trying. I fell for your words at first and then with your heart which I ended up believing cared for mine too. Through thick and thin we rode a roller coaster for 16 months before it all went off the tracks. I look up at you as I lay on my back flat on the ground. You are now riding it with her. I hate you and I miss you, that must be what they mean when they say love hurts because this is beyond miserable. My time on Earth is short and I will die loving you, but not loved by you. You used to tell me to look at your actions to know how you felt and I would notice every little thing you'd do for me: helping me into your truck, buckling my seat belt, fixing my bra, cutting my meat. You assisted me when I needed it, never treating me like I was a burden. Yet you dropped me like a hot potato, for what? I'll never understand just as I'll never get over you. I told you, you were the love of my life and I meant it. Every word we ever whispered to each other was 100% truth from me, you can't say the same. You told me you'd never let me go, that you'd always be there for me, that you'd love me forever. Such BS and despite it all I can't quit you. When I would tell you that you were the love of my life I absolutely meant it! I've never loved or been loved the way we were together. If only I had looked at our dating watch I would have seen we only had 472 days together. Maybe I would have been prepared for the ending that I knew would be inevitable. Yet you convinced me otherwise constantly, for that I despise you. Yes, I always knew we would end, I was just never prepared for the hurt of it happening. To not be the choice is what kills me and puts into doubt anything you ever told me.