sweet nothings

Portland OR

Description

Here I lie in bed alone accepting in my mind another man’s body on yours but in my heart unable to believe that you will truly stop feeling our bond. I felt it to when I made the mistake of trying to run away before. I await with hope your discovery— that we are the ones to be together. The long haul— the gravestones side by side resting in old age. Our love together deeper than it had been before from being able to forgive and accept. We bonded over the trauma of living in this age and the grief we shared dismantled reality, crippling my ability to be emotionally vulnerable— always only holding space for you. I know now that you were doing the best you could and I couldn’t process everything at the time and balance the rest of my life. Now I have structure and routines built to forging a stable loving best version of myself— no longer afraid to succumb to matrimony and the lifelong journey building a life together. No more compartmentalizing, no more resentments. I love you indubitably. In your absence I’ve love you without pause, I am respecting your boundaries of not messaging you until you speak again. So here I am and had so much to say and should have said all this to you much sooner but I had to learn and process writing you a letter you may never read. I pray you rescind the dark stairwell with me back into the light. Climb back into our soft embrace— hard and without letting go. Love and miracles are possible give me a chance to show you again. Unending monogamy with the balance of autonomy. We can kindle and repair the trodden blanket of our past relationship, weaving a new tapestry of everlasting together wrought of our spiritual melding. I’m going to keep building myself join me whenever you like. Just know that if we get back together I promise it’s forever. I love you - Tree