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I would love to be past all of this by now... but I can't seem to shake it. I want to be happy for you, happy that you're on with someone else who (I'm assuming) is doing a better job of meeting your needs than I did. I think there's things we can both own as to why we didn't work out, but I have to own the lingering attachment I'm left with over four months after the fact. Shadow Work is a hell of a drug, and you kicked the doors wide open on that. What I wanted was to finally address the trauma I've been sitting with for so long, and for better or worse, you gave me access to it. So I guess I'll keep reading my books, going to therapy and doing my rituals in the hope I'll eventually work past it. But I suspect I'll have to continue holding space for the part of me that doesn't want to let you go, because despite everything, I would still take you back in an instant.
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