Well....

Portland OR

Description

here goes. You're one of my best friends.... that's for certain. I was a little mad because you didn't show up in a moment recently when I thought you would. But I'm getting past it. The real problem is that brought up all sorts of other stuff I didn't realize was an issue in our friendship. Like how can I really be close to your bf when I know you're lying to him. And then, that spiraled into... wait, do I know you better than him? I thought before I was alright with what we have. And I am. But that was because we were honest. Now you're with someone who isn't apart of that honesty. And I want you to have everything man. I love you so much. But it turns out that participating in an ongoing lie doesn't work for me, even if it's not me doing the actual lying. As much as I want to separate the two realities, they can't be separated. Like now I don't actually fit in with this picture because no one really can if you're not honest. I know it's cliche but if you would lie to him for this long.... well, that could be me. And either way it's affecting everything in a way I didn't know it would. I feel like we aren't as close and yeah that's partly due to the lie. I didn't realize any of this but it's slowly been hitting me.