Description
Well, Carbondale, the point is that these claims of "we're leaving", or "we're pulling all our assets out of the country", or "I'm taking my pickup van full of weapons to fight in Virginia" are crocks of shit.
If you don't believe MY claim, JUST GO TO ZANZIBAR; ask for "Umgawa". If you can't find a First People's Bank there, then. BOY! You'll make a monkey (get it? monkey?) out of me.
As for the Quad Cities comment, I think you might be trying to TRICK me. I have to vet YOU first. Send me your name, address, phone number, Social Security number, valid credit card number and $100 bonus for being one of the first 50 customers to ask about your offer. Cash only, please.
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