the failing of friendship

Corvallis OR

Description

I always thought that to have a friend, you have to be a friend. But whether its the changing times or just this region, all I have met with here is thinly veiled exploitation. I've never been so isolated in my life, and I've been here for fifteen years. My 50th Birthday is in one week and I don't have any friends. The only person who ever understood me died just before Christmas. I'm financially overwhelmed, socially shunned - and I didn't do anything to deserve this. In fact, I have not received any credit for the strides I've made in my life, the things I've done or all the people I've helped. Instead, I am made to feel like I should give up everything I've worked for, that my thoughts and feelings shouldn't matter to anyone else, and that I should just be my own friend. Grieving, I placed an ad looking for a hug, but the support I received was as unstable and needy as me... I'm not sure why I'm posting this now. Everything seems completely hopeless. Nobody cares about me.