Lost Wedding Ring

Chicago IL

Description

I lost my wedding ring and I need YOU to help me find it! My day started like every other day, I woke up 6’4.25 next to my wife, took off my sleep cap and hit the showers. I ate like a vegetarian the night before so my tum tum was a bit upset. Instead of my usual one trip to the porcelain I took two which is odd for me. (I have an iron stomach and wolverine blood). On my super safe, short walk through paradise to work I booked a Zipcar for my biweekly Costco extravaganza. I was so proud of myself for multitasking that I told my coworkers my morning achievements three different times. After making Chicagoland laugh their butts off all morning I hit the luxury parking garage where my Zipcar was waiting for me. After changing all presents on the radio to 101WKQX I checked my mirrors, adjusted my seat, buckled up and started my journey to the greatest place on earth, Costco on Clybourn. I like Costco because they keep the riff raff out by requiring a pricy membership, it’s kind of like a private golf course but for food. IT’S AWESOME! After riding the cart down every isle and spending hundreds of dollars, it was finally time for the grand finale, A hot dog and a sundae! You really can’t beat that deal, I am shocked they aren’t out of business because of it. Once I crammed all the fancy food in the Zipcar It was time to make love to that dog and sundae. On my very last bite of the deliciously juicy hot dog I noticed my wedding ring was not on my finger! On January 1st I started making a lot of changes and started working out pretty hard. Maybe I lost so much weight that my fingers shrank and it fell off. I know I had it in Costco because I tried to fit it on the hot dog so it has to be somewhere in the parking lot. I spent a lot of money on dating apps trying to find this wife so please help me keep her. She gets back from Florida on Friday and if I don’t find my ring by then she’s going to kill me. I have a reward of $5 if you find it. I will also pay someone $5 to use their metal detector.