Dallas College Student Blog: Teen And Young Adult Dating Violence Awareness Month

Irving TX

28 January, 2022

4:16 PM

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Press release from Dallas College Student Blog: January 27, 2022 In February 2022, Dallas College's Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) will facilitate a series of student-centered educational events to highlight Teen and Young Adult Dating Violence Awareness Month. We are inviting you, our Dallas College students, to join us to learn more, spread the word and empower yourself and others with information related to dating violence.    The CAPS Team interviewed Sheyla Camacho, Public Health Educator at Parkland Hospital's Victim Intervention Program (VIP), and Sean Woods, Primary Prevention Manager at the Dallas Area Rape Crisis Center (DARCC). Sheyla and Sean share crucial information regarding behaviors that can be considered dating violence/IPV, as well as the effects, warning signs, statistics and information about supportive services available to those experiencing dating violence. We invite you to read more below:  An interview with Sheyla Camacho of Parkland Hospital's VIP Program and Sean Woods of the Dallas Area Rape Crisis Center (DARCC):  Besides physical violence like hitting, what other behaviors are considered dating violence?  SHEYLA: There are different types of abuse aside from physical. It could also include verbal (name calling, yelling), emotional (damaging your property, threaten to harm your pet), sexual (unwanted touching, preventing you from using protection), digital (tracking your location, looking through your messages) and financial abuse (giving you presents or paying for things with the expectation of something in return, monitoring what you buy).   SEAN: Hitting is probably the only behavior that most people can identify with dating violence, but there are a lot more. Stalking is another form of violence that folks don't understand. Stalking is any type of behavior that causes genuine fear and continues to happen even after you asked your partner to stop, such as showing up unexpected places, harassing your friends and family or using your friends and family to get information about you. Emotional abuse is also seen in dating violence. For example, when your partner is threatening to take their life or harm themselves if you do not do something they request.  Finally, sexual abuse occurs frequently in these types of relationships, whether it's being forced to do a sexual activity you don't consent to, your partner threatening to disclose your sexual orientation or they take advantage of you when you're asleep or intoxicated.   Unhealthy or abusive relationships can have short or long-term effects.  What are some examples of these effects?    SHEYLA: Being in a toxic relationship affects you both physically and emotionally. There doesn't have to be a bruise or broken bone to understand the damage that an abusive relationship can cause. Effects may include thoughts about suicide, depression and anxiety, as well as engaging in unhealthy behaviors like drugs and alcohol. This will sometimes be used to "numb" the pain of the abuse. Fortunately, every person is unique, and with great resiliency and reaching out to professionals, the cycle of abuse can be broken.   SEAN: Every person in a relationship is different, so how a person is affected by these abusive relationships can be different as well. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, PTSD are just a few I can name. These relationships can leave you with issues around intimacy, trust and even unhealthy habits like excessive drinking or drug use.  I want to emphasize that just because someone has not experienced the effects that I briefly list does not invalidate their experience!    Can you list and describe some warning signs of an unhealthy relationships?  SHEYLA: Some of the warning signs could include putting you down frequently, any type of physical harm, showing extreme jealousy, not trusting each other, not allowing you to spend time with friends and family, checking your messages without your permission or constantly asking where you are and why.   SEAN: The absolute number one sign I can always point to is possessiveness.  We would all like a partner that wants us or can protect us, but when this turns into isolating you from friends and family, or your partner is having fits of anger just because you were hanging out with another person, it is a clear sign of possessiveness. A personal red flag for me is how they are willing to treat you in public. If they are willing to scream and yell at you in front of a lot of people, clearly they can be even more unstable behind closed doors. Some others I see include controlling your social media, never allowing you to speak in any discussion or always making you feel like you are the crazy one for simply feeling how you feel.  Could you please share some statistics on dating violence?  How prevalent is it?  Are there any specific populations at greater risk for dating violence?  SHEYLA: No. Very few things in life do not discriminate, but domestic violence is one of them. Being the victim of abuse has nothing to do with how smart you are, what/who you believe in, how strong you are or where you live. Domestic violence can happen in any ZIP code, to any gender and in any culture.  SEAN: The majority of victims are women.  And while violence does not discriminate necessarily, we do know that our black, brown, people of color, and indigenous folks as well as the LGBTQIA+ and special needs communities all experience more violence.  Although men are committing the majority of the violence, it is especially difficult when men do face violence as it can be hard to talk about or reach out for resources. Although there are many reasons why these groups experience more violence, it has absolutely nothing to do with their identity in any way!  What are some reasons why some people hesitate in seeking help?  SHEYLA: The number one reason tends to be fear. I am afraid of what s/he will do to me or my family. The majority of the time the verbal threat is there: "I will kill you/myself if you leave me." "I know where your family lives." "There is no place where I can't find you." Another reason could be love. They love this person. They just wish the abuse would stop. Sometimes they have children together. Another reason could be their immigration status or culture.   SEAN: So many reasons! I would definitely say victim blaming is No. 1. If the first things I hear are, "Why don't you just leave?" Or, "How could you let this happen?" Then I'm definitely not going to want to talk about this issue anymore. Fear is also a huge motivation. They're concerned about their partner finding out and hurting them, or friends or family. A huge reason a lot of people overlook is love. Despite the abuse, some people do not want to see their partner hurt or face the consequences of their actions.  Just remember, if your partner truly loved you, they would not abuse you. They should be trying to make you feel safe and loved in every way possible!   What can we do to help support someone in a violent relationship?  SHEYLA: At the very minimum, believe the survivor. Listen to them without interrupting or asking questions, and please remind them that it was not their fault. If possible, let them know that there are local agencies that are able to help. A lot of these agencies are non-profits, so the services are free of charge.   SEAN: Just have an understanding that it takes – on average – seven times to leave an abusive relationship. I would say that if you have a friend that is in an abusive relationship and they have not been able to leave, do not stop being their friend or supporting them. It can be very frustrating, but we can be the friend that's there when they are finally ready and able to leave that relationship!  What resources are available for anyone that needs help?  SHEYLA: Thankfully we live in Dallas County, which has more than seven different agencies that can help victims of domestic violence. I recommend checking out the following websites. They are filled with great information:  love is respect  The Hotline (National Domestic Violence Hotline)  Texas Council on Family Violence  SEAN: There really are some amazing resources just right around the area. For instance, the counselors at Dallas College are absolutely amazing! We also have Genesis Women's Shelter (214) 389-7700), Hopes Door New Beginning Center (972) 422-2911, and The Family Place (214) 941-1991.  What services does your organization provide to victims of sexual violence?  SHEYLA: The Victim Intervention Program/Rape Crisis Center is located within Parkland Health & Hospital System. The Parkland VIP Clinic provides hospital crisis intervention 24-7, counseling, education for victims/survivors and witnesses of domestic violence, sexual assault, human trafficking, physical assault and childhood abuse. We can help. It doesn't matter when it happened. Licensed counselors provide free counseling for victims/survivors and witnesses of trauma and abuse. Services are available for: Dallas County residents, women, men, teens and children age 4 and older. Public health educators attend health fairs and provide education to the community, area agencies, organizations and hospital staff on domestic/family violence, sexual assault and human trafficking.   SEAN: DARCC has a 24-7 crisis hotline number – (972) 641–7273 – where you can access all our services for free. We do crisis intervention over our hotline, hospital accompaniment to Presbyterian Hospital in central Dallas, legal advocacy, long term and short-term counseling, and workshops on violence prevention. Of course, if there is a resource that you need that we cannot provide, we also work closely with all local resources in the area.  Dallas College Counseling and Psychological Services thanks Sheyla and Sean for helping educate us on dating violence and resources to support, raise awareness and educate our community.  Dallas College has many resources available to support students and raise awareness, as well. Bystander intervention programs, offered through the College Alliance Against Sexual Assault (CAASA) at Dallas College, are available to teach students, faculty and staff how to prevent IPV safely when they witness it.  Students, faculty, and staff members can request a training by contacting jaimetorres@dcccd.edu. Dallas College groups, such as the Male Achievement Program, offer opportunities through workshops and training events to assist students in becoming informed allies in preventing dating violence and IPV.  Students interested in joining can email DCmales@dcccd.edu or AnandUpadhyaya@dcccd.edu for more information.      Mental health, healthy coping and stress management counseling is also available for currently enrolled Dallas College students aged 18 or older.  If you would like to speak to someone about dating violence and IPV, please email counseling@dcccd.edu to request a confidential in-person appointment at any Dallas College campus or a virtual appointment through the WebEx platform. You may also visit the Counseling and Psychological Services website to learn more about services available to students.  Let's all do our part to raise awareness of and end dating violence in our communities.  Report instances of dating violence or IPV on a Dallas College campus to a Title IX Coordinator by calling 972-669-6400.  Reports can also be filed with Dallas College Campus Police by calling 911 from a campus landline or calling 972-860-4290 from a mobile phone or non-campus phone.  Additional community resources are also available at College Alliance Against Sexual Assault (CAASA).  This press release was produced by Dallas College Student Blog. The views expressed here are the author's own.