just some thoughts

West Richland WA

Description

just sitting here thinking about how quick life is. I guess this is the time in life where people start having a reflective mid-life crisis or something. I am not having a mid-life crisis but I definitely can see where you hit this age and you start wondering if you've lined your ducks up to do all the things you wanted to do and experience and become. I've not been counting my blessings and instead I've been focusing on all the ways things have become deficient or not good enough. Even more so because of the pandemic changing things so much. Somewhere amidst these last 2 years, I've lost my color, let myself go, and become partially dissatisfied with some areas of my life. I've gotten restless. I've lost all my give-a-fcks. I've surrendered to the bleak and colorless landscape that we've had. Where is the dreamer in me? What happened to traveling and indulging and excitement and laughing? What happened to exercising and health in my mind body and spirit? I think I need to turn the old Volvo station wagon around. I've left my soul at a rest stop way back down the highway and I need to double back and find it. Who is this unmotivated chubby frumpy woman I've become? Time to claim back my soul one little step at a time... I'm ready.