nothing feels real

Berkeley CA

Description

It feels very redundant to say this and it also feels like it’s just a completely wrong way to describe what it is, but this thing has no language, it is a great emptiness, and I am not sure if my hope or desperation is real in itself or if it is just an extension of the expression of this nonexistent existent thing that is simultaneously nothing and everything, irrelevant and essential, beautiful and totally depressing. I have no idea what to do and I am wasting my life away living in the mold of a person. Even if I got rid of the “fake” things in my life I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m extremely immature for my age.