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Look aunt Linda, I've had it up to my butt sack hair and my mom and I are done running around town finding you drunk in a willow tree ten feet up with your 15 year old hooters shirt trying it's best to hold up what 15 years of gravity couldn't. please do my mom a solid and come home for Christmas this year on your own terms, last year with that guy from Florida was definitely a line drawn in sand. And please if you feel the need to rail any drugs, out of all of them please no pcp. I can't spend another Christmas evening watching you try to hit on Jimmy Fallon through the flatscreen tv. Last time got so..... Intimate. But anyways, mom and I love you(dad a little too much still) hope to see you there. Don't forget the strap. Peace Hah hah hahomie.
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