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I endured a father quite similar to yours---emotionally abusive and sometimes physically. His own family dynamic sculpted his dysfunction. Kudos to you for overcoming your experience, and for not administering a beat down to an 86 year old.
I commend you for hosting him despite his ugliness toward you. He is not long for this world---it was not an easy watch to watch my dad age, lose his ability to drive and think clearly and finally perish in his 90's.
Friends are GOD's compensation for the family he gave us. Stay strong, stand your ground and protect your children.
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