Can you help me figure out how to get out of thanksgiving?

Portland OR

Description

Hey fellow artists, I was just thinking... like, every year I really hate Thanksgiving. I know the holidays are difficult for a lot of people, and it is an enormous privilege to have somewhere to go. But every year I just find myself attending because of peer pressure. I have always hated this holiday since I was a kid. and I've noticed people REALLY don't want me to shit on whatever they renamed thanksgiving to be this year (harvest fest, gratitude celebration, fall phenomenon, etc)! I get it, people really like celebrating this holiday. That's fine for them. I just personally think it sucks! and doesn't being 30 mean you get to make your own decisions? So I was thinking: every year at Thanksgiving I just try to become invisible anyway, so why not create some kind of a body double or "fake me" to sit there and be an uncomfortable, 2 months sober aspiring vegan who can't stand the sound of chewing? That way I could leave the friend who's visiting from out of town with the friends who are expecting me to be at their big maskless party, and I could just like... ride my bike to a park and eat a sandwich? then quietly return after the kitchen becomes functional again in about 3 days. What do you think would be the best route for making a body double? I'm on a tight budget right now (another reason to avoid thanksgiving) so it can't be expensive. I was thinking maybe I could make a tiny oven bake clay figurine of myself and paint it in my likeness. or maybe a hand-drawn cardboard cutout? life-size mixed media sculpture? Thanks in advance for your brilliant suggestions. I am so thankful. Have a nice day.