Bass Player Wanted

Oxnard CA

Description

Looking for bass player. We are a drummer and guitar player/singer who need a bass player. Must be- late for practice all of the time, if you even show up. Must have drug and alcohol problems, preferably you are on multiple substances at one time. Hopefully you do not have any equipment, but you can borrow a bass from your roommate ( who doesn’t really know that you live with him), and you are willing to buy a bass if the circumstances are right, must be way super intelligent and be able to know everything about the music business because you have been in bands for such a long time, must be able to learn 40 cover songs even though nobody asked you to learn them, must already have your mind set on what our band should be and sound like, hopefully you have been writing songs for superstars just to pass the time until you can find a band on Craigslist that needs a bass player, mostly you need to have a preconceived notion of what a band should be and absolutely you should have an opinion of how we are not what your preconceived notion of a band is. Oh yeah, you probably should have five different degrees in musicology and have studied music since you were two years old and lastly you need to be so busy that you disappear for weeks on end, never returning texts and emails. If this is you……. Good luck! We need someone who doesn’t fit this description at all, in any way, shape or form. So please, please….please, reply if you play bass, don’t know everything, (especially important) and just want to jam and see where it goes. Do you even exist? Being open minded to different ideas and musical styles are always excellent qualities for a bass player to have. One last thing… for all of you guys that answer everything posted on Craigslist and never follow through….we have probably already talked and it would just be wasteful of time and energy to continue this dialogue with you, when it is inevitably going to end up with you telling us how you are totally not interested in what we are trying to do. So just…. Don’t! Have a nice day all you bass players out there. Yes, we too hope that we find what we are looking for. Thank you.