Helpful hints for No VA political new comers.

Springfield VA

Description

Soo, you want to be politically active in the Northern VA arena? But not sure of who is who? Here are some hints. GOP: To be a member of this group, 1. Be for the US Constitution, well, at least for the parts that you like, this whole "freedom of religion" thing actually only applies to Christian, Baptist, members. If you are Catholic, Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist, it does not apply to you! 2. Also, if you actually believe in the 2 party system, then this may not be your group. After all, you can not be a Patriot AND actually support gays, immigrant, labor unions or any actual Democratic process. 3. Also, remember, you must be able to believe far fetched theories, given by unidentified shadow letters or washed up political leaders. NOW, to be a member fo the Democratic Party, Here are the requirements. 1. Believe you are owed anything you want, without having to actually earn it. 2. If they don't pick you for the team, it is because you are.....(Just insert your race, genderor sexual orientation) 3. Believe that all are welcome,...well as long as the Hispanics stay in Calmore, the Asians in Annandale and please, no Indians or Pakistani in Mclean! we love you, just not as our next door neighbor. 4. Here, that pesky "Freedom of religion" thing also is a problem. See, we support "Mega-Churches", but please keep the temples and mosques to a minimum. Its that whole property value thing! 5. You need to support freedom of speech, just not ones the party disagrees with, and please, no "merry Christmas" or "happy Easter" displays in public! Now, truth is subjective and this party actually can explain exactly what is truth and what is not, much like that other party, we have an issue with "Alternative Facts". Last, this party is the open minded, all embracing party...well except if they don't agree, then you are obviously a Nazi or bigot, or Trump supporter and not worth listening to. So, there you have it. basically, the parties are not really different, mostly they just have different mascots. Hope you found this helpfull and welcome to the community.