Hot New Band "Celery Buns" Needs Members

Portland OR

Description

Hi there! I'm a musician here in Portland, and I'm looking to start a band called Celery Buns, based on a unique concept that I think audiences are going to love. Basically, what I envision is playing a mix of cover songs and originals, with the highest-quality musicianship, while gripping stalks of real celery with our backsides. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "What on EARTH?!" But hear me out: Americans are going through a tough time with this coronavirus epidemic, and millions upon millions of them sit at home, haplessly wedging fruits and vegetables inside their buns. But, unfortunately, there's a real stigma against showing buns in public. And this is where Celery Buns comes in: while our friends and family may only be able to mount an occasional cantaloupe rind or stock of broccoli in their buns, musicians are afforded a certain artistic license, allowing us to make a virtual four-course meal out of ours. And don't get me wrong; we're not talking about gouging ourselves in the intestines with this stuff. We're just talking about wedging some nice, fresh celery in between the buns, and then playing some rock 'n roll. The stalks will just rest there, gently, between the cheeks. There's really nothing to be afraid of. Anyway, what do you guys and gals think? Any takers? I feel like this could be a real money-making opportunity for those of us with a sizeable caboose. A little celery. A little Tom Petty. And away we go! Hit me with an email!