Attractive female needed for holiday party

San Diego CA

Description

I am looking for an exceptionally stunning woman to bring to my company's annual holiday party. Ideally, you will be exponentially more attractive than me; the greater the disparity of attractiveness, the funnier. During the event, you will admire me and tell everyone how smart and handsome and brave I am. You'll offer to refill my drink. You'll kiss me on the cheek in the middle of a conversation with the CEO and ask me if I need anything (foot massage, etc). You'll occasionally beg to go back to my place or maybe nibble on my ear when we're at the bar. Your focus will be on me, exclusively. You'll have to be a decent actor for most of this. The overarching goal is to cause everyone to think "where on earth did HE find THAT woman?" and "she must be insane". If you're really smart, funny, and do not suffer from crippling anxiety in social settings, it'll be even better. But, of course, the most crucial attribute is attractiveness. About me: I am a white, cisgendered able-bodied heterosexual male, 5 feet 9 inches tall with a 31 inch waist, and size 9 shoes. 38 years old. Libra. Brown hair. Blue Eyes. Slender. Fit-presenting but not exceptionally athletic or strong. Harmless. I walk a lot but it's been about 15 years since I've done any meaningful exercise. *** Compensation: $450 (or Bitcoin equivalent) for a few hours of synthetic romance and feigned admiration. *** But what if you're above-average appearance-wise and you really want that $450 BTC, but you're unsure of whether I'm attractive enough to hang out with? Well, historically, my perceived attractiveness level has been a function of the woman's race and political outlook. For example, most white ladies see me as a 5.4, while Mexican and Asian ladies think i'm a solid 8.75, and black womxn consider me a 2.3 (or lower). And then there's political outlook: if the woman is a socialist or identifies with any of the social-justice-adjacent ideologies (eggshell leftism, gender science activism), that score will be adjusted down by 13 points, but only after I open my mouth. So, this whole thing might be fun regardless of how attractive you find me. BUT, if you're a Japanese libertarian atheist woman who believes in free will, freedom of speech, and tolerance... who thinks socialist critiques of Capitalism are childish, who thinks there is no need to posit the existence of abstract objects, and who is typically attracted to neurotic, gangly white boys, then you might end up actually wanting to go home with me after the party. But that will cost you $450. If you're interested, please respond with a photo and explain why you'd be a good pick.