LIVE-IN Nanny position

Escondido CA

Description

We are looking for a LIVE-IN nanny for our almost 4-year-old son. Please carefully read this job ad before you apply. The job includes a monthly stipend, a large room with a private bathroom, access to the kitchen and common areas, all utilities, and all your food for the month [if you only eat goji berries picked by Tibetan monks on the 3rd moon of the year, sorry you have to buy that yourself]. We live on a blackberry and fruit farm overlooking a very pretty valley. We grow vegetables, blackberries, citrus fruit, avocados, and stone fruit. You have a hiking trail behind the house and lots of neighborhood hangouts including three restaurants at the front of our neighborhood. Your room is very large and has a queen-sized bed, a desk, entertainment center, coffee table, and full-sized futon with room to spare. Also, you have a large walk-in closet and huge bathroom with a soaking tub, stand-up shower, and the best views of the house looking down into the valley. The home has a gym with a rower, a free weight set, and anything you need to do CrossFit. The mom is an amazing cook and likes to treat her helpers to yummy dinners made from scratch. We are givers and like to make you comfortable and feel like you are part of the family. Don't be surprised to get little gifts once we discover your likes and favorite things. If things are working well, we will also take you on vacation with us and cover the basics. We want you to feel like a family member and we want to feel that you are a family member and not someone that hides upstairs on all their off time. Now for the "work" of the job. 60% taking care of our son, 40% being the backup mom of the house. Taking care of our son: We are looking for someone that is nurturing, kind, polite, and affectionate, with a good understanding and a willingness to learn about childhood stages. You should be happy to teach a small child and watch them learn and grow. Hugs and kisses are totally encouraged. We would love for you to love our child too. The childcare portion includes the following: *playing with our son *doing flashcards, counting, letters, arts and crafts, painting, teaching words or skills - and adjusting as he grows older to a home school program *nature walks outside - supervised play *baths *helping with potty *feeding nutritious meals, generally the mom has this set up with leftovers, but you should be able to feed him more than slices of lunchmeat or nuggets, be able to cook real food, please *treat him like a person, greet him and say "good morning," If he is tugging on you to say something, stop and ask him what he is so excited to tell you. *read books *generally enjoy the magic of a 3.5 to 4-year-old sweet boy *exceptionally rare tablet time - this should not be happening on a daily basis at all If you do not actually like children and are only taking a job because you need money, please save us all time and do not apply. My son is a person and deserves to be talked to like a person. Barking at him meanly or treating him like he is an annoyance is not going to go well. Yanking on him to pull him out of a high chair and then getting mad at HIM for not getting up when you did not bother to unlock his seat belt... also not ideal. [These are real examples from our last helper, I am still in shock and so upset from seeing that scene take place]. You have to understand that an almost 4-year-old child does not have a fully formed brain or reasoning system. You cannot snatch a toy out of his hand to make him follow you upstairs [another example]. Instead, offer to read him a book or play a fun game. Please understand that he will test your limits, that is what children do. We believe in rules and in saying no, but we also believe in kindness and tenderness. Sometimes you need to get eye to eye with a child and explain to them in words they understand why something is not okay. He is very smart and picks it up fast. You tell him not to throw a ball near your head because it will hurt your eye, he will get it and understand it. This is 100% a skill we are looking for and require. We are not perfect parents, we are learning. He gets tired and a tired kid will throw a fit. But his fits are always able to be worked around with a snack, hugs, a book, or just a plain and simple nap or cuddle session. 40% mom work: You will do everything the mom does when she is not working. This includes prepping lunches, setting up dinner items, washing laundry, normal cleaning, wiping spills, ordering groceries through Instacart, ordering supplies through Amazon, *gasp* turning on the two robot vacuums to vacuum the house, vacuuming two area rugs with the real vacuum, picking up kids toys, straightening, etc. These things are on rotation on an as-needed basis. The list is not inclusive of everything and not everything happens every day. It works out to a couple of hours of helping a day. Some days might be heavier and some lighter. I help out all the time because I can't sit still for very long. My work is in the DV field and I need to take breaks from reading trauma declarations. I will help with tasks around the house to take a break from fixing a case up. Our son however always takes precedence over the above. If he is in a growth spurt, he needs more affection and attention. Pause the above tasks and read him a book. The ability to shift is important. Just tell me that it was a cuddle day and I will understand if things fell to the side for a day. They fall to the side for me too. We have our household work divided along more traditional roles because it works for us. My husband works from 5 am to oftentimes 7 or even as late as 9 pm, six days a week. That lets me be closer to the house while also working so that I get to spend more time with our son. Part of the "mom" work will be putting away all family members' clothing, and helping me get lunches prepped for my husband so that I am not doing it after a full day at work plus commuting and trying to take care of my son in the evenings while giving him great mommy time. The meal prep is pretty simple, set up 4 glass bowls and make 4 salads all at once then pop into the fridge. It's not 5-star meals and it does not require very much time if you batch tasks. Please do not apply if doing all the things the mom does on a daily basis are beneath you or if you have some weird "I hate men and hate doing things for men" issue. I don't want my husband to worry about the dishwasher after a 14+ hour day where people were yelling at him on the phone for hours. He is the motor that keeps the house running. He busts his tail. We can back him up and put his clothes away and make the man a salad for lunch. ;-) This is a live-in position and we cannot consider anyone that does not want a live-in position. This is for one person, I am so sorry but having a couple move in with us is not something we will consider. We have a dog, and I am sorry but you cannot bring a pet with you. We bent the rules for one person and her dog scratched my son's face badly. We cannot take in a parent and their own child. I'm sorry. Please do not apply if you are passive-aggressive. It will not be tolerated. Our home should be a happy place to be, not a place where we have to hear backhanded comments, comments under the breath, snide remarks about things, or general snappiness from our nanny. Nor should you have to deal with that from the people you work with. We are 100% upfront and direct. If we do not like something we will tell you and then ask for it to be done differently in the future. We also take feedback and suggestions. There is always a better way to do things and we are open to changes. My secretary has worked with me since 2012 and is happy to give you a reference for ME to tell you how I am to work with. We will be the same with you in the interview process as we are through employment. My other case manager worked with me for years and I helped her get a better position at a local DV shelter. She will also be a reference for ME and my family. We require a drug test and background test for the person we decide to let come live in our house. If this is something you do not want to do, please do not apply. Our son is precious to us and this is mandatory. With the drug test being mentioned... we are sorry but if you need to use CBD for a mood disorder or [insert anything else], this is not the right position for you. We allowed an exception for the nanny with the dog and her mood disorder was truly... epic. My father is a chronic pain patient and uses CBD, I do not have problems with it, but when it comes to caring for our son, it's not something we will slide on. The job requires you to occasionally lift a small child [he is about 37 pounds now], when he is sleepy or needs and after nap diaper changed. If this will hurt you, or a pre-existing condition, this is not the right job for you. If you cannot quickly grab a running child, this is not the right job for you. You have to be able to move fast if he is playing and might not have paid attention to his landing spot. Hours are from 8 am to 5 pm, five days a week. Days off are Sunday and Monday. You have a one-hour break while our son is napping. The rest of the time is spent working with our son or helping us with household tasks. We also would like to have a few date nights a month. I work my hardest to always be back home before 5 pm but occasionally there is some crazy accident and I might be a little late. I am very very respectful of your time. Occasionally I have court or an appointment in LA, I will pre-clear this with you and flex the time back to you. The 8 am start time means that you are downstairs and ready for me to walk out the door at 8 am. I have to very tightly schedule my days to get the things done that I need to do at work, or I have an appointment right at 9 am and I have an hour drive. If you are still here thank you for reading everything. It might seem overboard to have written so much but I am still shell-shocked from two back-to-back bad experiences - one the dog bringing nanny hurting my son and being crazy passive-aggressive, and two, the last one treating him like he was trash right in front of me and yanking on him while he was still buckled in a high chair.