Porch Thieves are awesome

Events

Colorado Springs CO

Description

So I had UPS just deliver a large package and what do you know before I could get my shoes on to fetch the package it was stolen. Now I'm thinking an inside job with UPS. Not sure 100% but within 5 minutes? I guess I will need to review security camera footage to find out. Dire warning to whoever stole it. I'm not the type who involves our local police detectives. Hell I want it solved this week. So I am the type who hires it out to our underground criminals which I get a more effective discovery. When I find you and when not if I want to apologize in advance for removing your hands from your arms. I will gladly give them back to you after 1 weeks time. I want to be sure the tissue on your removed hands is completely dead and no way a surgeon could reattach so you could use them again. I wouldn't want our little sticky hand bandit to be able to work anymore. So consider yourself soon to be retired. See you soon.

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