News: Messianic Jews Just Killed Their Messiah

Eureka CA

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(TelAviv News) According to reports from Gaza, the Jewish people's Messiah, whom they have been waiting for for over two thousand years, has returned - being born in the ancient land where His roots lie, He has returned. Unfortunately, the hospital in which he was being born was then bombed by Israeli F-16s, which delivered smart bombs manufactured in the United States - precisely on target, with the aid of laser guidance and a previously planted radio transmitter, concealed in the Obstetrics department. The Jewish people's Messiah was cut in half by the explosion and His body was peppered with shards of steel from the bomb's casing, killing Him instantly. The Messiah's father - a poor Palestinian man, named Mohammad - was also killed in the blast, as was the Messiah's mother, a Palestinian woman named Fatima. Israeli news reports described them as "suspected terrorists". Jews around the world are celebrating their successful destruction of another hospital, paid for by foreign donors, and the liquidation of what is being described, informally, as 'a bunch of ragheads'. Mystics and prophets report that The Messiah has left Earth and will not return. He has determined that Israel is an abomination, and has ordered a large asteroid to shift its orbit slightly, and begin falling inwards, towards the Sun. More to come...