You were a true MAN amongst boys

Martinez CA

Description

I've given up my search and hope because you were everything. And I haven't heard from you in almost 2 years now. You weren't just a burly kind of man, taller than me, big barrel chest, fierce dark eyes, that tan olive skin from your black irish heritage... but you were the most masculine man I've ever known and had the privilege of loving and being loved by. You led me with confidence and with everything about me in mind. You knew how to soothe me and care for me as much as you knew how to make me melt with your growl of warning. There is no one else like you. Even if there were, you were it. I found the love of my life at 40 and I didn't get to spend the rest of my life with him and that's awful but at least I knew wild true love. I sometimes feel 'no, I deserved better. I deserved to never worry about my body being too big or my skin being too pale or being too sensitive or my standards being too high. i deserved someone who truly claimed me and saw me in his future'. But i'm so tired. My life is a battle and I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I need someone who can be everything you were and more. Someone who can fully rescue me and take care of me. But I can't bring myself to even open to the possibility. I hope at least you're being an example to other men of what it means to be a gentleman, a beast, an embodied warrior. The world needs that.