Missing Best friend..answers to 'Biggie Clark'

Richland WA

Description

Give it to me straight Biggie...R ya still mad at me? if so, just let er' go man, Please, just set down that heavy ol' bag that yuh been carryin' fer so long, you know, the bag filled with bittrness, angr, resentmnt and Butterfnger candy bars. I think I seen ya at the Pasco car wash the other day as you's runnin' that dirty ol' truck brush up and down yer back crack and it was good to see that ya still care wether or not ya stink when you's in public. You may hate me now Biggie but don't ferget I's the only hillbilly who visited ya in the hospital when ya got that shiny thing-a-ma-jigger stuck way up in ur hot-pocket and got her stuck to the point where it took (6) of da most gentl and stedy handed E.M.T's from Benton city to hold your drunk Sasquatch ass down just to get a good enuf angle to pull it out for ya. Plus, I's the only one who came witcha to court a few years back when you's facin' 10 years in la Pinta (not da boat) after gettin' yerself arrested with ur drawers all down round yur ankles, What the hell wuz you doin' out der in dat field? I hurd you's drunker than a slapped monkey chasin' critters around, don't ya noe dem critters wuz ownd by that Benton city mayer feller.? Yep, you went n got yerself charged with yer 2nd G.U.I that night (Goating under the influence) and only shame and emberisment wuz felt by all us country foke once wurd got out, and even dead as a dorenail ol' Roy Clark from the 1980's T.V show 'Hee-Haw' was rollin' over in his God-damn grave.