you made me feel like a fool

Portland OR

Description

hey, did i do something? you just disappeared into thin air. i’m not sure why but i’ve agonized about it for months now… gotten over it and back into it again and again. i think i’m pretty much over it now, but still, if you texted me again i’d immediately reply. i got you birthday gifts, something that you had mentioned you wanted in passing, a necklace that reminded me of you. i made you a card. maybe i’m naive, it was a first for me, but you said we’d see each other again soon… so i believed you. i know that maybe you weren’t as interested in me as i was in you, but i would’ve been okay with just being friends. i can’t bring myself to be mad at you because i thought we clicked and everything you said seemed genuine. and i thought i made sure that i wasn’t imposing or causing stress for you. i wish you had just given me a heads up that you wanted to end it, or you were tired of me, or you had found someone better for you, or that you didn’t want to even be friends. i just want closure, but the thought of texting you again after months feels pathetic. i feel really pathetic. just about the fact that i care so much, and you don’t. so text me. let’s hang out again. i’d be able to put it all behind me. or just tell me why, what happened. if i did something to make you uncomfortable, or even just a vague explanation of how your life got in the way. something, anything. but still, even wanting closure makes me feel stupid. i really liked you. i was ready to try anything, to at least try to be what you needed, or even just be a part of your life. you’re gorgeous, one of the prettiest people i’ve ever seen. and you’re so kind. maybe i’m putting you on a pedestal, but even now i can’t be mad at you. i’m just so confused. if you don’t, or can’t, it’s fine too. i’ll understand. i’ll let it go. it was karmic for me, probably. i’ve learned a lot in this time. but again, if you ever want to have me in your life at all again, have me make you sandwiches and brownies and drive around with me, i’ll be there. just text me. all love. i hope you’re doing well.