The Almost Anniversary

New York City NY

Description

In my heart and soul nothing has changed regarding you. This weekend was spent missing you. I know that missing you comes with the territory, but it hurts. It has always hurt. Some days it is truly overwhelming and grief sets in. Other days it is just like this dull pain I carry. Better are the days when I can think of you and feel nothing but joy in the knowledge that I finally understood true love. A love where you would be anything they needed. Even if what they needed is to believe you didn't love them. When I cried I wasn't enough it was only because I could not do for you in the way you could for me. I wanted to be able to also provide for you if you fell ill, or changed passions. I knew I wasn't in any position in terms of status at that time to see those things through (a bus driver would be much easier in terms of salary-- if it meant I had to supplement it--lol). I tried. I know I did. I failed, too. As usual, you've been on my mind when I wake and when I go to bed. You are the voice inside my head sharing space with the God voice in my bicameral mind. I will carry you safely in my heart and visit you in the compartment of my mind, where your blue eyes and smile are always readily available or YouTube where I get to witness how amazing you are. Loving and missing you always (if you choose to answer this-- I need to know my full name, your name and my favorite food.)